Money is at the root of many decisions you face as a couple, so it's not surprising that money is the number one issue couples fight about. Money conflicts between partners can also trigger other issues including differing ambitions, fears about the future and power struggles within marriage. Even when partners agree on the major priorities, it's almost a given that they'll bring out opposite money-handling traits in each other.

Check Your Attitude Toward Money

Money habits and the emotional reasons behind them are acquired during childhood and aren't easily changed. As adults we may either try to emulate our parents' money habits or go in the opposite direction. Most people fit into one of four basic money personalities:

Spenders lack the ability to establish financial goals and have difficulty setting up or sticking to a budget.

Hoarders get pleasure from budgeting and itemizing every expense. They rarely spend for today's pleasures.

Worriers have difficulty feeling in control of their money. They're compelled to balance their checkbooks and rework budgets often.

Avoiders tend to not budget, pay bills or file financial papers. Checks may bounce because they haven't balanced their register and don't know how much money they have.

Communicate Effectively

The following techniques can help you communicate with each other in a more productive manner:

Come to terms with your true feelings about money. Does it represent power, security or independence? Understanding how each of your views money is the first step in reducing conflict.

Talk about money matter-of-factly. Create an atmosphere of mutual respect where money issues can be discussed without fear of ridicule or anger.

Establish separate goal lists. Sit down together and write out three types of goals -- short term, mid-range and long term. Then rank them in three groups: the ones that are most important to you, the ones you could live without if necessary, and those you could give up most easily.

Share your goals and work out a joint list together. Set up goals you both feel are important, and compromise as best you can on the others. Then work out a realistic budget and a plan to reach your goals together. Also, add up your debts and devise a plan you can both agree on to pay them off.

Approach your finances as a couple. Will you have separate or joint accounts? Which spouse will pay the bills? Set aside time once a month or so to go over your finances and your financial goals. Don't begrudge each other small indulgences, but consult on purchases that are more than a mutually preset amount.

Meeting Halfway

Each of us has a unique way of thinking about money. Deep-rooted attitudes may have led you to take on habits you wish you could change -- or habits your spouse wishes you would change. However, you and your spouse can reach financial harmony by understanding what is most important to each of you and setting financial goals that address those needs.